I can still remember way back last Saturday. When I tried so hard to get it right, and still I failed to reach the top. How come children get so motivated? A kid from a NIDO (powdered milk) TV commercial said that he tries so hard and was able to reach the top. I like that recent commercial because the kids from that commercial are charming and my four year old cousin was able to memorize it, except for his slurry way of talking. What a smart little guy. ^_^ That Saturday afternoon was gloomy and frustrating. I am currently at risk. I am near failure, and I don't know what to do to raise it all up. I am such a BUM! I have been like this several times and still I haven't learn the moral lesson. IT SUCKS!
This morning, we had our make up classes in technical writing and I felt so dumb while I was saying something about my report...I didn't have any idea what it is all about. It's just about a washing machine. I looked like a fool staring at the monitor screen while reporting it. How unmotivated I am. Like I didn't care what will happen next. While I was listening to the other group reports, I was physically attentive but deep inside me, I feel so sleepy...I wanted to lie down in a soft matress and think about NOTHING. -blank!-
Since it's March, I feel uber lazy....everytime the school year ends, I start to lose interest and being so excited looking forward for a summer break. My thoughts begin to drain down the sink while my heart was wanting for something more. [Do you get it?]
And when the fresh start comes, I am unable to recap the things that happen to me, what I have learned for months ago. Everytime I learn, I tend to forget too. :(
Things that are stuck in my head are some break up songs and sometimes....songs that would help me to move on.
"Blue on blue, now that we are through." So Easy-Royksopp
As of this month, I have noticed that there are so many suspension of classes that are happening. Not really...last Tuesday, the reason was because of strike and next week will be Holy Week...We'll take a break on Thursday to Saturday in observance of the said event.
I hope classes will officially end on April 16. I hope they mean it.
I have finally made up my mind, for real....My feelings for a certain person had drifted away, like a ship in a pier, preparing to sail to the open ocean...letting go is the best way to end the pain that once was my heart's desire. I failed at love. Maybe it was not yet the best time for me or maybe that certain person was not really meant to be for me, I have found out in a dream that we are not really meant to be. Thanks to the Heavens for giving me a sign and letting me to "bite to the bright side."
I can still remember what the guidance counselor once told me....It was about 5 years ago...When I was in first year high school.
It was a line in a love song that says "If you love someone, set him/her free."
HEAVEN KNOWS by RICK PRINCE
Yeah, although it's an old love song, He said it right. : ) Not bad at all. It has been on the airwaves for a long time (during my parent's youth).
How can I forget that?
So, I am hoping that this drama will end real soon and my tormented heart would heal.
did I say TORMENTED? yeah..I forgot!
That person was the reason why this blog was titled "THE DISTORTION BETWEEN THE HEART AND THE MIND". I was able to carve out a brilliant idea in you, why I feel happiness and misery at the same times, why I get paranoia and having frequent urges to take Prozac or any medicine to give me so-called "FAKE HAPPINESS" so that she won't bring bad things about me to herself. I would like to thank her for everything she did to me, she listened when I wanna talk, etc. etc.
If you would come back again, may the Heavens give me a sign, and don't worry...my windows and doors are still open. If not, I wish you all the luck for more years to come.
am I desperate enough?
whew! Long enough, ei? Like a novel, this is only a draft and it's page one. Everytime I do a entry, It feels like doing page one. :) I didn't mention her name here because I wanna forget her.
okay...buhbye. ^_^
Rufah is annoying me as usual, she was my former schoolmate [she took up Management and now she's transferring to another college just to take up Journalism, which is her life-long dream], and she got my number when she visited the school for her documents. And every minute she texts me. She's the worst person I've ever known [In the sense that she keeps on bugging me through text messaging]. She is a kind person but with a low percentage of common sense. But we made a deal, that she'll be in charge of my cellphone load. ;)
[Load is what we call cellphone credits here in the Philippines, We cellphone users buy that in any amount whenever we can so that we could communicate with our contacts. It could be prepaid or post-paid, but post-paid credits are only used by those people who have tons of money on their pockets such as business people and rich people. The lowest amount here in the Philippines for only 5 pesos, I think...I don't think so, too hard to explain.I buy 300 load every month because scratching a card is more reliable and they're good for 2 months. They're better than via electronic transmission]
Fooling her is so easy. Lol
Nah, I don't like her. She's only a friend...she doesn't have the brains and beauty (which I like)...She's not that good when it comes to carrying herself [Somewhat ill-figured than me, and still manages to overcome insecurity]. She speaks as if there is no tomorrow. Pausing and a period after a sentence isn't in her sentence construction. It doesn't mean that I'm the best among the rest, but this is true.
Yeah, whatever~lol. Trying to be nice to get what you want. ~_^
